Published: October 01, 2008 03:09 pm         

MUSIC: Take cover from needless music remakes

So there I was last week, innocently surfing the Internet for some music news, when I came across a post about Korn frontman Jonathan Davis covering a rap song.

That tidbit seemed interesting enough; Korn did do a decent job, after all, covering Ice Cube’s “Wicked” a few years back.

I’m a Korn fan in general, but after I clicked play on Davis’ cover of Lil Wayne’s “Got Money” it took most of the afternoon to rid my mouth of the vomit taste.

The electronic vocals are hard to listen to, the metal backing doesn’t suit the song at all, the lyrics don’t belong in Davis’ universe — heck, he even threw on a set of gaudy grills to complete the insipid illusion. That’s not to say a rock group can’t cover rap — Rage Against the Machine did a great job with Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill a Man” — but Davis did more damage to the song than a dozen Gulf Coast hurricanes.

I’m all for experimentation, but much like their brethren in the movies, many songs don’t need any sort of cover or remake, no matter how fondly the artist might think of the original song or singer.

The Who might be mildly flattered by the imitation, but does anyone seriously think Hilary Duff did the band a favor in covering “My Generation?” Can the spritely Duff even begin to comprehend the social commentary behind the ’60s rebellion anthem when the biggest hang-up in her life has been whether to buy the blue or red Hollister hoodie?

And AC/DC must have cried a puddle the size of Australia when they caught wind of Celine Dion’s inane cover of “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Has anyone ever thought of “Celine Dion” and “rock and roll” in the same sentence? Of course not. Yet for some reason, Dion felt the need to forever tarnish this anthemic tune (not to mention the mind of anyone unfortunate enough to see her play air guitar during the intro).

Again, artists should be ready and willing to step out of their comfort zone. They should just do it in the recording studio during rehearsal, not put their slop out there for the world to see. Some artists (Jessica Simpson) just were not meant to be paired with certain songs (”Take My Breath Away”), simple as that.

The best cover songs tend to be those where the artist has something legitimate to add to the song that makes it unique without ruining it. Whatever you think of Marilyn Manson, he’s done that with three ’80s staples, the Eurythmics’ “Sweet Dreams,” Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus” and Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” — which in itself was a cover of a Gloria Jones song.

The more I listen to Disturbed’s cover of Phil Collins’ “Land of Confusion,” the more apt I am to place the song in this category. Once you get over the “Phil Collins? Really?!” factor and really give the song a chance, you realize that the song actually isn’t half bad when put in the right hands (subsequent listens to the original have led me to better appreciate that version, as well).

Good covers are hard to find, but even more rare are copies that surpass the original. It usually takes a legend covering a legend (like Jimi Hendrix did with Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower”) or a band on the rise paying homage to an unknown influence (like Nirvana did with the Meat Puppets’ “Plateau” or Quiet Riot did with Slade’s “Cum on Feel the Noize”) for this to take place.

For every one of these, though, you get dozens of songs such as the cover of “Lady Marmalade” those shrieking harlots did a few years ago.

Actually, this song brings to mind a pretty good rule: If your cover of a classic interjects any rap verses that weren’t previously there, it stinks; the reverse would apply, such as Duran Duran’s truly terrible version of Public Enemy’s “911 is a Joke.”

Other good rules include doing a needless remake of a song that’s been covered more than a neat freak’s bed (anyone who’s done “Dancing in the Streets”), covering a relative (Natalie Cole dueting with her dad on “Unforgettable”) and trying to get “sensitive” or “reflective” with a song meant to be loud (Mariah Carey’s pointless version of Def Leppard’s “Bringing on the Heartbreak”).

While some covers are gold, by and large singers that want to pay tribute to their influences would be better off buying a poster for their bedroom wall. Anything else, and you only risk alienating fans and forcing them to take cover from your cover.

Contact editor Paul Laneat 693-1000, ext. 116, or lanep@gnnewspaper.com.



• Visit the Life in the Slow Lane blog to see video examples of good and bad covers Life in the Slow Lane