TELEVISION: 'Gladiators' on NBC reviewed.

By Phil Dzikiy<br><a href="mailto:dzikiyp@gnnewspaper.com">E-mail Phil</a>

May 15, 2008 09:51 am

— Fire! Foam! One-word names! The gladiators have returned.
After the spring season success of the new “American Gladiators” on NBC, it was no surprise that the show would return for the summer. This season features new events and new gladiators, and more than its fair share of competitive, inspiring and cheesy moments.
The first season’s champions have taken over as new gladiators, as Monica Carlson and Evan Dollard have become Jet and Rocket, respectively. During Monday’s two-hour premiere, Jet performed well in Pyramid, but she wasn’t strong enough for Gauntlet.
Rocket looks to be a specialist, as he flew up the Wall to take down contender Gerry Garcia during the premiere. But overall, Garcia performed much better than the deceased Grateful Dead member ever would.
Phoenix is another new female gladiator, and she debuted in Vertigo, a new event in which the gladiator races the competitor on elevated poles. There’s no contact in the event, either. It’s about as boring as it sounds.
The another new event that debuted Monday was Rocketball. It’s similar to Swingshot from the original “American Gladiators” series, as the competitors try to throw balls in giant nets after rocketing up into the air on a cable. All the while, the gladiators are trying to prevent them from doing so, as they take to the sky on their own cables. There’s too much going on in this event to get a good idea of what’s really happening.
Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali return as the hosts, and they’re just as they were before. Van Earl Wright is also back as the unseen, barely credited announcer.
“How do ya feel to knock right by ‘em?” Hogan asked a competitor who had just won Gauntlet. Hulkster isn’t always completely coherent, but he brings enough energy to the show, which is more than one can say of Ali, brother.
Though there are some new touches, this season looks much the same as last. The format is too heavy on interviews and personal stories, the show often will frustratingly go to commercial just before an event begins and there are still some unforgivably stupid moments (the studio audience singing along to “Another One Bites the Dust” as a competitor is eliminated from Hang Tough is just as idiotic now as it was last season).
The original incarnation of “American Gladiators” wasn’t as over-the-top, but that show didn’t have the budget. One thing that remains the same is the tough competition on display. That’s the real reason for the show’s popularity.
Sure, there are a lot of bells and whistles, but all of the athletes are formidable and the events are no joke. Especially the Eliminator, the final event. It’s a brutal obstacle course that leaves many competitors completely exhausted before they reach the finish line.
“American Gladiators” is cheesy, sure, but it’s always been that way. The competition at its core is what keeps viewers coming back. That, and the howls of the mighty Wolf.

GREAT ‘GLADIATOR’ MOMENTS
A countdown of the most memorable moments from the original “American Gladiators” series.
1. Malibu gets crushed, makes triumphant return
Original American Gladiator Malibu was undoubtedly the worst Gladiator of all-time. He was even worse than Sunny, “The All-American Girl.”
In this classic moment, Gladiators contestant Brian Hutson destroyed Malibu in Human Cannonball. After his recovery, Malibu had this to say.
“Well, dude, it’s like this. I saw this guy coming, and I took the most excellent hit ... of my life. The next thing I knew, I was on the beach, taking in some cosmic rays, getting healed by Mother Nature! Taking a little brewski, holding on to a beautiful babe, and I’m fine today!”
2. “Two Scoops” makes his Eliminator comeback
Wesley “Two Scoops” Berry was likely the greatest competitor in show history. A men’s champion, Berry was dominant. The man could jump over cars, for crying out loud. But once, on the Eliminator, Berry was actually trailing his opponent. That is, until the cargo net.
3. Treadmill fall
I don’t remember what season it was or who the competitors were, but I do remember that one female competitor just could not get up the treadmill incline at the start of the Eliminator. As her opponent went down the zipline, you could see her in the background, laying face down on the treadmill, going in reverse, her arms forward like Superman in flight. My brother and me laughed for five minutes straight.
4. Kyler Storm flips out
The “Breakthrough” part of Breakthrough and Conquer is simple. There’s 10 yards and an end zone, and you have to score without being tackled by the gladiator. Competitor Kyler Storm ran straight at Turbo, did a front flip over him and scored. It’s as cool as it sounds.
5. Purple Roundy
The man, the myth, the legend. Purple Roundy was the actual name of one competitor. With his curly mullet and dominant mustache, everything he did was a memorable moment.
— Phil Dzikiy

IF YOU WATCH
* WHAT: “American Gladiators”
* WHEN: 8 p.m., Mondays
* CHANNEL: NBC (Channel 2)
* GRADE: B

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